Practice

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about “practice” and the importance of practicing consistently. I have a list of to-do’s that I keep in a spreadsheet, it’s at the bottom of my “Goals” tab. Each morning, when I come into the office and get myself settled, I like to review my goals, including my list of “Actions To Be Taken Every Day.” Here they are, for completeness:

Actions to be taken every day:

> Maintain a mental “buffer” and emotional awareness

– Build positive energy, neutralize negative energy

– Stretching or exercise

– Steam or hot shower, meditation

– Healthy eating, stay hydrated

– Acknowledge that others think differently

– Be mindful of energy (myself and others)

– Journaling / videos / posts

> Review goals, set intentions

> Create checklist for the day, be proactive

> Show appreciation, gratitude

> Practice / make best effort

> Give (attention, effort, energy)

> Connect with friends & family

> Engage in recreation

> Ask for help, listen carefully for messages

The goals review is important for me. It keeps me focused on how the activities of each day should intersect with my actual stated goals. It’s like reviewing the final destination each day before embarking on a trip. Review the map, set a course, then go about doing the work to get yourself closer to that desired endpoint. Once the day starts, and work begins, it’s very easy to lose focus on the things that actually matter. So I like to set the course and try to stick with it. This process helps me do that.

The “Actions to be taken” list is a bit more of a practical checklist. I guess it’s a bit like a pilots pre-flight checklist. There are just certain tasks that need to be completed before each and every flight. For me, I need to work hard to maintain a mental buffer every day (mental buffer = space between external input and emotional reaction). This isn’t optional for me. If I want to perform at my best, this is absolutely required. There are many ways that I can create and maintain a buffer: exercise, hot shower, staying hydrated, steam room, meditation… Those are tools that I utilize to maintain space between reactivity. There are certainly others, but these are the tools that I know work well and work consistently for me.

You’ll notice that one of the Actions is “Practice / make best effort,” and I’d like to spend a little time on that. Actually, the whole thing that I’m describing is a practice of sorts. Going through my goals is a practice. Reviewing the Actions is a practice. Stretching and meditating is a practice. In each case, I endeavor to hone my skill in the process, in a gradual and focused way.

Meditating is certainly a practice. That’s how people engaged in yoga describe the process. That’s the parlance of the community. There is no goal, except to engage in the effort. That idea is important. This is a process, and my goal is to engage in this process fully. I’ve developed this process for me. It’s wholly focused on helping me to achieve my stated goals. Each day, I get up and I practice. I work toward honing my attention on whatever I’m doing. There is no other point.

How do we practice well? Pay attention. Make your best effort. Produce your finest work. Correct mistakes or missteps. Respond to feedback. Work to improve. Make the effort. I’ve begun to expand my definition of what constitutes practice. We practice every day, if we wish. We can practice with our children. We can practice with our friends.

I love to host gatherings, and I look forward to the opportunity to serve great food and drink. Perfect the dish, get the dressing just right, the seasoning perfectly balanced, the skin of the chicken just browned, the right wine served at just the right temperature, in the right glass, opened for just long enough to fully express itself, served in harmony. #hostgame

This came into focus recently, while hosting a weeknight dinner for a friend. I busted out the crowdcow.com grass-fed ribeyes, opened a nice bottle of wine, prepped an appetizer plate and put together a nice salad. All things that I’ve executed countless times before while hosting friends and family. It’s become somewhat automatic. I know exactly how to execute this meal. I’ve executed that performance many times. But make no mistake, this takes real effort, it’s not “automatic.” In each case, I’m highly focused, enjoying the act of attempting to perfect the process. There is muscle memory. You get better. You improve. You become faster. You make fewer mistakes. You hone your skill. My guest was surprised. Why was I doing this just for us? For two guys having dinner? WHY NOT? I love to share the things that I have to offer, my insights on food and wine and living well. This was just an opportunity to share that.

We had a great meal, and my companion commented, “this is just practice for you.” I paused. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was right. I had never thought about it that way. I value this insight. I was not very self-aware before the age 35 or so, but that’s another post. My buddy and I were teammates in high school, football players. He said I practiced hard even back then. I ran hard. Wind sprints. Why? Because I could. I took pride in winning conditioning drills. Win every set. Win every race. Put in your best effort. Every snap. Every play. That was the mentality.

We all take plays off, but dogging it doesn’t feel better than working hard, does it? Stop doing it. Figure out how you can improve, and do that, stay in improvement mode. Stay engaged. Focus on developing a process. Then engage in the process. If you’re not engaged enough to give your best effort, stop what you are doing. Figure out a process that would be engaging. Then get to work giving your best effort. For me, there is no other way. Practice, practice, practice.